Facing Consequences
by NightKitty666
Summary: Tag to s4e3 - In the aftermath of Prentiss and Reid's time held hostage in the Libertarian ranch, Hotch has to deal with the emotional turmoil the whole event put him through, while Reid struggles to stay on his feet. Literally.


Hotch stared at the burning building as panic rose in his chest. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the chapel that possibly held the unconscious if not dead bodies of Reid and Morgan, who had been caught in the explosion. His breath caught in his throat as there was still no sign of the two agents. He couldn't believe the team might have lost them. He couldn't face that possibility.

Gradually, two figures began to emerge from the smoke, coughing and wheezing. Hotch let out a sigh of relief as he recognised the two men as his missing colleagues. He was about to approach them when he saw Prentiss beating him to it; she headed straight for Reid and pulled him into a hug. When they'd released each other, Hotch made his way over to the young agent, who was still coughing harshly.

The sight of Reid in front of him, battered but alive, brought tears to his eyes. Ever since he'd realised back at Quantico that the younger man was in danger, he'd been fighting back his emotions, but he'd almost let them slip once or twice. When Cyrus found out that one of his hostages was an FBI agent, Hotch had almost lost it. When he'd talked to Dave about why he wasn't going on the raid, he'd struggled not to let the fear show. He cared for Reid more than he could say, and he didn't know how to handle seeing him in such danger. But now, seeing the younger agent in front of him, he felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He felt like he could breathe again, and it was all he could do not to embrace Reid tightly and never let him go.

"Hotch, are you okay?" Reid's voice snapped his focus back to reality. The genius had noticed his boss standing wordlessly in front of him for some time, and finally decided to break the silence.

"I'm fine," Hotch replied quickly. "But what about you? Are you okay?"

Reid coughed again before responding, "my throat hurts a bit and my lungs are kind of burning, but other than that I'm..." He was cut off as he began to choke on the fumes from the explosion that the wind was blowing towards them. He grabbed onto Hotch for support, and the older man quickly wrapped an arm around his waist to support him. When he thought Reid had managed to get his breath back, he slowly withdrew his arm, and the younger man stayed steady for a moment before his legs gave out and he fell to the ground.

"Reid!" Hotch shouted in horror as he watched the agent collapse. He swiftly knelt down beside him and was shocked at how rapid and shallow his breathing was. "I need a medic!" he called to the police officers behind him, who immediately sprang into action. "Reid, can you hear me?" The man's eyes were staring blankly up at him as he laid a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Reid?"

"Hotch?" Reid whispered weakly, his voice rough and rasping.

"Reid, hang on. Paramedics are on their way."

"Hotch, I'm fine..." He trailed off and took several shaky breaths.

"You're not fine, Reid. Help is on the way. Until they get here I just need you to focus on your breathing, okay?"

Reid nodded and tried to deepen each breath, but the smoky air rushing into his lungs sent fire shooting through his chest and brought on another coughing fit. As he wheezed he felt the grip on his shoulder tighten and he looked up to see Hotch watching him with what looked like fear in his eyes. He was surprised to see the Unit Chief showing such emotion, but was soon distracted by the coughs that still wracked his body.

As Hotch watched his subordinate's body spasm, two EMTs rushed up behind him and joined him on the ground. "Sir?" one of them called to Reid. The younger agent fought off the coughing fit enough to reply.

"Yes?" he rasped.

"Sir, I'm going to put an oxygen mask over your face. I just need you to stay calm and breathe as deeply as you can, alright?"

"Yeah." They slipped the oxygen mask over his face and almost immediately he could feel the clean air filling his lungs. He inhaled deeply, but the action caused his chest to burn and he groaned in pain.

"Alright, we need to take him to the hospital. Gurney!" the first EMT instructed the second, who ran off to fetch a gurney from the ambulance.

"What?" Hotch asked, panicked. "What's going to happen to him?"

"We just need to run a few tests, check for smoke damage in his lungs," the EMT responded as his colleague returned with the gurney. "His breathing shouldn't be this shallow." He broke off as his attention was needed to roll Reid onto one side then back onto the gurney that was placed beneath him. The EMTs lifted him up and carried him hastily towards the ambulance, sliding him into it and strapping the gurney down.

Prentiss ran up to the back of the ambulance as Hotch was about to climb in after Reid. "What's happening to Reid?" she asked quickly.

"He collapsed a few minutes ago. They think there might be damage from smoke inhalation."

"Oh, God," Prentiss whispered.

"Sir? We need to go," one of the paramedics urged.

Hotch turned back to Prentiss. "You need to be looked at by the other ambulance. I'll text you where they've taken Reid and you can bring the team to the hospital after you've been checked." The EMT called for him again. "I have to go." He turned back to the ambulance and climbed in, shutting the door behind him.

Prentiss watched as the vehicle started up and began to make its way off the ranch. Once it had disappeared from sight, she turned back to the team, who were staring at her expectantly.

Back in the ambulance, Hotch watched as the two EMTs began to hook Reid up to a pulse monitor and a proper oxygen tank. The genius continued to cough and wheeze, seeming at times like he wasn't breathing at all. During a particularly bad episode, Reid reached out and gripped Hotch's wrist tightly, desperate for something to focus on other than the searing agony in his lungs. Hotch was shocked by the contact at first, but he soon laid his other hand over Reid's and gave it a reassuring squeeze. They continued to hold on to each other for the rest of the journey, before the paramedics had to separate them in order to slide Reid's gurney out of the ambulance into the hospital's car park. They wheeled him into the emergency department with Hotch hot on their heels, navigating swiftly towards the x-ray rooms. Once they arrived, they refused to let Hotch come any further, and directed him towards the waiting room. He was turning reluctantly to go when he heard Reid weakly call his name. He looked down at the younger agent, who was watching him with a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Hotch, please don't go," he begged. "I'm scared." The fear in Reid's voice was unmistakable and it broke Hotch's heart to hear it.

"Is there no way I could stay with him?" he asked the paramedics.

"Well, we shouldn't let you do this, but you can stay with him while we prep him for x-ray," one of them sighed. Hotch thanked him then reached out for Reid's hand, which closed around his before he had a chance to make the contact himself.

Reid's gaze never left his superior's face as he was slowly and gently prepared for the x-ray. He was terrified of what damage might have been done to his lungs; not only had he inhaled an awful lot of smoke, but Cyrus hitting him in the chest with a rifle end couldn't have helped. Hotch spoke softly to him the whole time, reassuring him that he would be fine. He wasn't sure that he believed everything he was saying, but he tried to make it sound as convincing as possible nonetheless. Finally, Reid was moved into position and the paramedics and Hotch had to step outside. A technician double checked everything before firing up the equipment and taking the scan. As soon as it was over, Hotch was back at Reid's side speaking soothingly to him.

The technician began to look at the scan on a computer as two nurses entered and transported Reid to an inpatient ward, telling him that they would be along with the results of the scan as soon as they had them. They hooked Reid up to another oxygen dispenser and an array of pulse and blood pressure monitors, then withdrew from the room, allowing Hotch the space to enter and take a seat next to Reid's bed. He sent a quick text with the name of the hospital off to Prentiss as promised before slipping his phone back into his pocket and turning his attention to his subordinate.

"How are you feeling?" was his first question.

"My chest hurts," Reid replied quietly. He didn't have the breath or energy to make his reply sound any stronger.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Reid shook his head then paused as a thought crossed his mind. "You could tell me why you didn't mind holding my hand in the ambulance," he said at last. "I thought it was a bit... childish."

Hotch sighed and dropped his gaze to his hands, which were resting in his lap. "I didn't think it was childish. You were afraid and needed reassurance. That happens to all of us."

"But... you're my boss," Reid continued. "I thought you'd think it was... weird."

"Ordinarily I might have. But with you..." He trailed off as he struggled to find the words to express just what he felt for Reid. He'd stopped thinking of him as only a colleague or a friend a long time ago, but he wasn't sure he was ready to admit that yet. Not to Reid, anyway, who was never going to return the feelings and might get scared off.

"But what with me?" Reid prompted.

Hotch looked up at him and saw a look of anguish on his face, like there was something he was wanting Hotch to say. That look gave him a tiny glimmer of hope, which gave him the courage to say, "but with you it's always been... different. You mean more to me than Morgan or Prentiss, and I hate seeing you in pain or afraid. I want to do whatever I can to help you." He took a deep breath before adding, "I care about you, Reid. More than I've ever told you."

Reid, not being very good at reading social clues, needed clarification. "You care about me? You mean..."

Hotch nodded. "Over the past few months, maybe even years, I've started to develop... feelings for you. I'm sorry for not telling you but I knew it might scare you so I chose to keep it hidden."

"Why would it scare me?" He sounded genuinely bemused, which made Hotch frown slightly in confusion.

"Because you wouldn't feel the same, but might feel pressured into doing something because I'm your boss."

Reid slowly propped himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Hotch's face. "How do you know I wouldn't... feel the same?"

Hotch stared at him, becoming more and more confused. "Because you're not... You've never... You haven't shown any interest in me."

Reid let a small smile play on his lips. "That's because I didn't want you to know in case you didn't, you know, feel the same. Hotch, I care about you, too." He watched as his superior gazed at him in disbelief. Hotch couldn't believe that his dream might be coming true, that the object of his affection might actually want to be with him.

Eventually, he managed to form a coherent sentence. "So, you... You have feelings for me, too?"

"Yeah," Reid said a little breathlessly; all the conversation was beginning to drain his energy, seeing as he still couldn't get much air into his lungs.

Hotch noticed the discomfort Reid was in and reached out to take his hand again. Giving him a warm smile, Hotch said softly, "Reid, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I honestly didn't think this would happen. But as much as I want to discuss this with you, I can see how tired you are. Why don't you get some rest? We'll talk this through some more when you're feeling better. Okay?"

Reid smiled and nodded. "Okay," he whispered as he leaned back into the pillow. As he closed his eyes, he focussed on the comforting feel of Hotch's hand in his, and it was the last thing he thought about before he fell asleep.

Hotch watched as a peaceful expression settled over Reid's face. He knew the younger agent must have been exhausted after the ordeal he'd been through, so he was glad that Reid was getting the rest he deserved. And he was determined to stay by Reid's side until he awoke, not wanting to be away from the genius for even a minute, especially not after having come so close to losing him.

Squeezing Reid's hand gently, he felt the stress and anxiety from the past few days slowly beginning to cease. Reid was out of danger at last, which meant that Hotch could finally relax. And as he did, he felt a surge of warmth in his chest, replacing the aching worry that had been gnawing at him previously. Reid was here, he was safe, and he was his. And Hotch knew that no matter what, he was not going to let him go.


End file.
